Utter insanity
December 5th, 2008, 11:28 am · 1 Comment · posted by jhogg
The Washington Times clearly has gone hurdling, arms and legs flailing, over the waiting mouths of hungry sharks below. Today’s editorial must be written by mediums channeling some bizarre, other-worldly spirits peaking into a universe that is not our own.
A nuclear-capable Iran armed with ICBMs could be only months away. Meanwhile Washington drifts, awaiting more compelling news to shake it from its lethargy.
Which is to say that invasion by men from mars “could be only months away,” or that a total shift in the human psyche that will see 90 pound nerds and Ball Gunners heralded as the epitome of men “could be only months away.”
The Iranian nuke program has become the ultimate Washington boogey man. Absent any evidence that Iran is working toward weaponized nukes, Washington has simply concoted their own. This is in addition to a missle program so hilarious that it became the butt of photoshop hilarity on Fark. Note a stellar success rate of the 75 percent in the released photo.
Now those Shahab-3s are rumored to be able to hit Israel, maybe, Allah willing, on a sunny spring day with no wind and all the planets in the solar system lined up. Being that Iran’s missile development now has pulled a few hairs ahead of the Third Reich’s 60 year-old V-2 rockets, the Times immediately jumps to the conclusion that Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles are just “months” away. I’m sure the Times thinks that building a longer range missile is just a matter of strapping a bigger booster, maybe a series of boosters, or just some Wile E. Coyote type contraption with a catapult, a series of booster and an anvil.
I occasionally cringe when I wade into the past and read some of the editorials I wrote in college. But I’d have a hard time coming up with anything this bad. We really should expect more from our media than blatent scare mongering. There are some real things we should devote attention to in this world. It really doesn’t look like Iran’s nuclear program is one of them. But I’ll lend more credence to adults who believe in Santa Claus than adults who believe an Iranian ICBM is going to crest the horizon any moment now.
I never go back and read my columns from college. I just can’t take the shame.
In fact, I pray from time to time that the Collegian’s archive server and all its backups get hit by a sudden catastrophic event (lightning, tornado, marauding cats on cocaine, anything) for fear of what will happen 15 years the road if someone digs one of those up.